Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Follow The Leader

It gives me joy to give my husband the space and support he needs to be the head of our household and to lead me as I submit to Him according to God's will.  Because of that, our relationship is much stronger than it would be if I didn't choose to obey God's will for our marriage.  If you don't allow a man to do what God has called Him to do as the head of the house, you could be setting him up to fail.

As we all know, in dancing two people cannot lead.  One must be willing to follow or both of you could trip and fall.  The same applies to married couples.  When you have a wife trying to control her husband or usurp his authority as the leader, disaster is in the mix.  Trust me, I know from experience.

As the wife, trusting your husband is trusting God.  You know that your husband will make mistakes at one point or another.  Finances, children, discipline, ego, etc.... That's why trusting God is essential when it comes to being a submissive wife.  What does it take to be a submissive wife?  I will share with you how things look for me personally as a submissive wife.

For the first 3 or 4 years of our relationship, I tried to control every aspect of my husband.  You see, he didn't believe in God.  He was angry at God for many understandable reasons.  Well I thought that I could somehow make him be a man of God and I actually viewed him as a control freak.  Guess what I learned in the process?  Not only was I the "control freak", I would never be able to control him w/o first surrendering to him.  But how do you surrender to a man that doesn't want a relationship with God?  You take him, your children, your finances, your household and you place it all in God's care.

By totally surrendering everything you care about to God, you are setting the stage for abundant blessings in all those areas.  When I disagree with something that my husband does or says, I try to remain silent until I know I can address him w/o being disrespectful or saying the wrong thing out of anger.  That is what I used to try to do and it only made things worse.  We used to argue all the time, even in front of our kids.

As I finally started to grow up,  God saved my husband and our marriage and I allowed myself to agree with God and let Him minister to me through His word.  I learned how to see things through God's eyes.  Of course we don't always agree but we try to work through it w/o disrespecting each other. I talk to God and I ask Him to help me get my point across the right way. But not before God shows me where I'm wrong or need improvement.  This has worked for us for years now.  My husband almost always sees things as God sees them and as a result we are actually in agreement most of the time.  That's what it's all about.  When we do struggle with each others decisions or behavior, we ask God to help us see the situation through His eyes.

Tips for married couples:
1. When we learn to humbly trust and obey God, He brings personal transformation.
2. Give 100% no matter what the other person does.
3. Do not make mountains out of mole hills.
4. Respect your husband-a man needs respect like a woman needs love.  He feels valuable and esteemed which is very important to him.  Be his cheerleader, believe in him and appreciate him.

There are no inferiors or superiors in marriage.  Your husband is accountable to surrender his own agenda and hobbies to serve and meet the needs of his wife.  He should be willing to deny himself for the good of your family.

Family Life Marriage Bible
Dennis & Barbara Rainey-Best selling authors and co-founders of FamilyLife.

My husband and I are best friends, partners, lovers and companions for life.  We treat each other like royalty.  He will always be my King and I will always be his Queen.